


Charcoal nightmares & Golden dreams

by JotunVali



Category: Nightcrawler (2014), The Sisters Brothers (2018)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Charlie is too tired for this shit, Crossover Pairings, Drama, Dreams and Nightmares, Fans will understand, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Protective Husband, Sensitive Hermann, Sobbing, Trust Issues, Western Romance, baby deers and dead racoons, that's Morris
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-10-12 18:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20568707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JotunVali/pseuds/JotunVali
Summary: Pure and innocent Hermann have a strange and heartbreaking nightmare.





	1. Chapter 1

He was down.

Dying.

The hole pierced by the bullet hurt and burnt and a lethal amount of hot blood was oozing from it.

_ Lou… _

“Lou… Help.” He whined.

As a reply, Louis took his camcorder and began to film.

_ What? Don’t… Help me! Help me, I’m dying! I’m scared! Why would you film me now?  _

Thick tears dwelled in the corner of the bleeding boy’s eyes. He got it. The understanding of Lou’s gesture hurt and shocked the boy a thousand, a billion times more than the bullet stuck in his stomach. 

He was nothing to Louis Bloom. 

**Absolutely no-thing.**

More worthless than garbage.

The boy had dared to hope that maybe, Lou valued him enough to respect his dignity, or at least, at LEAST, his physical integrity.

But no. Not even that.

Him too, Lou saw him too as a mere tool, a graphic and bleeding and soulless tool, to make money. And to hell with the distress, the fear and the monstrous misery he was feeling now.

“I can’t work with people who slack their work, Rick.” Lou lowered his camcorder.

Lou’s voice was full of disdain. Not the slightest hint of worry.

Then he walked away.

Rick’s shallow breath sped up.

_ No! No, don’t leave!  _

Lou didn’t even look back.

Rick’s eyes were drowning in burning tears.

Never! NEVER in his shitty life had he felt so scared, so hurt and so miserable before! And he was going to die like this!

_ Come back! I did everything to please you! Everything so you’d like me just a bit! Why? Why are you so cruel and heartless? Why the bullet hurts so much less than your leave? Why do I want to be shot a thousand times again so it stops to hurt so bad? _

But he was alone.

Hurt.

Horribly, painfully, lethally hurt.

In every sense of the word. 

Heart-smashed.

Scared.

Betrayed.

Abandoned.


	2. Chapter 2

Gasping for air, Hermann almost jumped off his bed.

His breath still erratic, he opened his shirt to look for any trace of a bullet wound. Nothing. He huffed out in relief. No physical wound. But the emotional, the heart wound was still here. Lingering, whispering horrible things to the enamored chemist. That Lou in his dream looked just like his John, minus the beard. He didn’t help when Hermann was shot. Instead he… stared at him with some device apparently able to register sound and images -how did Hermann know that? No idea, he just did- to then sell it to the press! To make money out of it! Out of Hermann’s -or rather Rick’s- despair and fear! With no respect whatsoever for his feelings and his dignity! While Rick deeply, unconditionally loved that Lou! That sentiment of feelings and his dignity! While Rick deeply, unconditionally loved that Lou! That sentiment of shock, distress, so painful betrayal and pitless agony was far worse than a mere bullet wound. And the excuse for such a freezing cold and heartless act? Rick-Hermann hadn’t done correctly his job! How could he love or just trust such an inhuman monster? With no care in the world for other people’s suffering as long as it brings money? Even when it’s the suffering of people close to him?

“Hermann?” Morris woke up next to him.

The gold prospector flinched. How to be sure John, the _ real _John, won’t do the same as that Lou? How to be sure John won’t change his mind and sell Hermann off to the wealthy Commodore? After all, that was John’s initial job! To gain Hermann’s trust, get close to him and then smash his gullible heart into tingling money coins!

_ “How could you be so two-faced? Is it greed?” _

“Hermann? What’s wrong?” John asked again, with clear adoration and worry in his sky-blue eyes.

That meant nothing. John was a good actor after all. He’d shown it a lot of time. To the chemical inventor’s expense. He leant closer.

“Hermann-?”

“Stay away! Keep away from me! Liar!” Hermann cried before he clumsily stood up and ran away, barefoot, into the woods.

“What? Hermann! Wait!” Morris called, bursting out of the tent.

The running like a convict chemist stopped at a dark tree. While catching up his breath, he tried to think. If John intended to sell him to the Commodore, he’d have done it a long time ago, right? Back at Jacksonville. He didn’t. Instead he followed Hermann.

_ No! John is _ NOT _ like Lou! John is a good-hearted, kind and adorable man! _

_ Like he was kind and adorable to the people he hunted down before you? _

_ No, that’s not the same! John _ ran _ with me! He _ **loves ** _ me! _

_ What if he supposedly saved you from the Sisters brothers to sell you by himself after you have collected enough gold he’ll rob from you? What if he purposely made you fall madly in love with him so you give him your gold and formula? _

_ No! He’d never do that! He-he loves me! He believes in my dreams and my projects! That’s why he followed me! Why would he write to the Commodore he lost my track if he intended to betray me? _

_ Maybe he wants your gold just for himself! Maybe the letters are just decoys for you! So you trust him like a stupid fool! Like Rick trusted Lou! Rick was worthless to Lou, just like _ you_’ve always been worthless to John! Only your gold has worth to him, to _ all _ of men! The Commodore, the Sisters brothers, the guys you used to work with on your trail, they are _ ALL _ after the money you can bring to them, willingly or not! Do you honestly think your perfect sophisticated John is different from them? _

“NO! NO!” Hermann sobbed and shrieked out, scaring away a few birds and bats.

* * *

“Oh, for Christ sake, the fuck is that deafening racket?” Charlie moaned and yawned at the same time.

“Hermann! He… he called me a _ ‘liar’ _and ran away!” Morris breathlessly replied, still not believing what his golden angel had told him.

“So what? He just wants to take a tinkle! Leave him be, you clingy mother hen!”

“Charlie, I think you want to go back to bed now.” Eli put a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“Don’ tell me what to do.” Charlie grumbled. “And how can I sleep when two shrilling lovebirds make out next to me?”

John strode dangerously closer.

“We were not-!”

“Hey, let’s all cool down here. Alright?” Eli suggested. “What exactly happened, Morris?”

“If only I knew! I-I woke up and...Hermann was… trembling and crying… then he told me to ‘_stay away_’, that I’m a _ ‘liar’ _and... ran away!” Morris just realized. “He ran away in the woods! Oh God! He’ll get attacked!” He freaked out. 

“He won’t.” Eli calmly asserted. “Charlie. You get back Warm.”

“Wha-? Why me? I’m not the clingy husband here.” The grumpy prince of raccoons scrutinized Morris with an accusing glare.

“Because you’re the best bear hunter. That’s why.” His brother reminded him.

Charlie sighed out of annoyance, took up his rifle and went to wander in the night woods.


	3. Chapter 3

“Alright, Warm! No need to be scared! Daddy Charlie will get you home!” He yelled, more for the enjoyment to scare away the wood animals than for finding the lost scientist.

Though it wasn’t long before he found him, sobbing, his shivering back leant against a tree. 

“Ah. There you are, lost boy.” Charlie smiled. “What’s wrong? Did Daddy Morris refuse to suck your cock?” He mocked.

Much to his surprise, Warm infuriatingly raised his fist, ready to punch his savior in the face.

“Wow!” The latter put his hands up and stepped back.

But Warm lowered his arm. 

“If only it was just that.” The sad-looking dreamer answered Charlie’s bawdy question.

He couldn’t be mad at the younger Sisters. He was too confused and too upset for that. By the nightmare he just had and by the mixed and shocking feelings he was holding for his beloved Morris since he’d awaken. A few hours ago, John Morris was his charming knight in a shining, dazzling white armor and now he was -maybe- the worst heartless, scheming monster.

“Ok?” Charlie dared a step forward. After all, Warm was the most insufferably peaceful man the improvised hunter knew, and  _ he  _ had a rifle goddammit!, what kind of harm could Charlie Sisters expect from mushy Warm? “I guess we’re all gone for another all-nighter either way, but may I ask your barefoot holiness why did he scream our ears off and skip away into the dangerous, full of big bad wolves forest?”

“I’m… sorry… for waking you up, Charlie.” Hermann slightly bowed. “But I’m afraid… the reason why I’ve… ran… is none of your business.”

“Hey listen here, you thin-legged whining lost baby deer.” Charlie flamed up, getting closer. “We’ve rode our asses off from Oregon City to your so-called river of light because  _ YOU  _ thought it a good idea to talk about gold to one of the richest motherfucker of the land and expect him to support your girlish charity ideas! We’re all here, me, Eli and Morris because of  _ you _ ! So your fucking business is  _ my  _ business too. Also when some bastard shrieks me awake, I  _ want  _ to know why! Just in the case I must shoot him asleep the next time! Got it, Mister Doe-eyes?” Charlie cursed a few inches away from Hermann’s face.

The latter bitterly snorted.

“It’s like we had the same dream, Charlie.”

“Huh? What does that m-? Oh.” The Oregon hitman realized. “Oh. Right. Sorry. I guess.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’re not to blame.” Hermann longingly stared towards the  pitch-black core of the woods.

“That’s why you fled? Cause you’ve dreamt Morris shot you?”

The shivering chemist bit his lips and looked down the floor.

_ No. Worse. _

Then swiftly looked up when Charlie burst into laugh.

“Oh, what a joke! You’re more fragile and gullible than I thought, Warm!”

“Wha-? That’s not-! That’s not funny! Stop, please!” Hermann demanded, appalled by such a reply.

“And why should I? Believing Morris of all people could actually shoot  _ you  _ is so stupid! Eli and I wouldn’t even be here if that perfumed pansy was able to pull a trigger!”

“I didn’t dream of John shooting me! I’ve dreamt I got shot and John took advantage from it!” Hermann, much to his surprise and shock, clear and loudly admitted. 

The Sisters leadman suddenly stopped his goofy laugh. 

Shit, saying it out loud hurt the lovesick science man even more. He put a hand over his eyes, threatening to sob again.

“I was shot… dying and… instead of helping… John was… taking advantage of it. Thinking I was more worth dead than alive. Treating me like… garbage. The most repulsive garbage.” Hermann couldn’t help. He wept again. These words reminded him how much that statement was true in his real life. Everyone around him, treating him as garbage, whose worth only lied in his gold and his invention to find more gold. Everyone wanting him dead.

“Oh please, cut the drama, chemistry queen!” Charlie groaned. “That was just a dream! Stupid dream on top of that. Do you actually believe Morris would kill you to have your gold or your annoying formula?”

“He…” Hermann pitifully sighed. “He managed to gain my trust and my… affection before. Only to have him stabbing my back. And ready to deliver me to.. well… you and Eli. Ready to get me killed… and pocket his paycheck. Who can tell me for sure he won’t… recidive? To have my gold or my formula for himself?”

“Oh God, you really are stupid and gullible, Warm.” Charlie deplored. “Did pay attention just once at the way Morris eats you with his eyes? How he worries or chatters about you like all the time? How he loves to blabber over and over you’re the best thing that ever happened in his miserable life? To me or in his letters? For a science guy, you really are stupid.”

“I-I… I don’t know…” Hermann stuttered as he was recollecting the sweet memories of John heartwarmingly smiling at him, so many,  _ many  _ times, his clear sky-blue eyes softly gazing at him during his passionate monologues about human society, the horse John bought for him, his eyes watering and lips quivering the night he was supposed to hand Hermann to the Sisters, that morning Hermann woke up without any cuffs tying his wrists, meaning John had let him the choice to go away, to go far from the Sisters and the Commodore’s other hitmen and detectives… John’s sweet, so  _ sweet _ , journal entries. Wait! Hermann  _ had  _ shared his formula with John! Because he trusted, no, because he fully and deeply LOVED John! 

_ And see? John is still here! With you! Still ready to change his life, to become an honest and good-willed man, to follow you and live with you! Because… because… _

Hermann crumbled down his knees and pushed his hands on his mouth. A fall of hot tears poured over them. 

“Wow, hey!” Charlie ran to him. “Quit the self-harm a bit. What would I get from Morris if I bring you back without your legs?” 

Hermann didn’t hear him. He was too busy remembering how John had risked, and still was risking his life, only for Hermann’s sake. Ready to abandon his job, his comfortable life, his safety, his ideals, his last 35 years! Ready to shoot dead the Sisters Brothers while, as Charlie just said it, John was incapable of killing! Ready to face all the hitmen, from the Commodore, from Mayfield, from any greedy person on his own! Only to protect Hermann’s own life and dreams. 

How? How could he have doubted just for an instant his beloved John’s love?

“If Morris wanted to outwit me and Eli, take the gold and all, don’t you think he’d have shot us when you found us? Also the sensitive man hates this kind of... lost and natural places. You know… with no paved streets, no hotel, no way to wash everyday or week, bugs and pests everywhere… It’s a miracle he still hadn’t puked or had a fit.”

_ You’re right, Charlie! John stays in a place that repels him because… because… _

_ “You don’t think you’re making a mistake?” _

_ “I don’t know. Probably.”  _

_ John truly is a good-hearted and faithful man! I  _ know  _ it! I know it since I met him! He just… used to deny it. Not anymore. Because he… because he… _

Herman, near death from a lack of breath, tried his best to muffle his strangling tears and sudden hiccups.

“Come on!” Charlie scolded. “You ain’t gonna take a stupid dream for reality! Morris must be the most annoying son of a bitch cause he’s all lovey-dovey and star-eyed for you and you still doubt-!”

“Because he loves me!” Hermann finally sobbed out; shuddering and shivering at that wonderful realization.

“Well… took you long enough, schoolboy.” Charlie sighed, glad all this bullshit was at last coming to an and.

Meeting John was the happiest moment of his life! He felt good and safe with John! And he almost ruined it all by taking a dream for truth!


	4. Chapter 4

Sunlight woke up Hermann. He was still sitting on a chair. That damn chair Morris had tied him up to in order to throw him away to the Sisters brothers and- 

Wait. 

His hands were free. He stared at them a moment. They didn’t look like he’d struggled free while asleep. That meant… After a brief hesitation, he anxiously dared a look behind. Towards Morris’ bed. The man was profoundly asleep. So profoundly he flatly crumbled down when Hermann uttered his name. Then Morris managed to sit back on the bed. Hermann had so many questions. 

Why did you free me? To begin with.

_ Could… could it be? _

“You don’t think you’re making a mistake?” Is what slipped out of the puzzled chemist’s mouth.

_ The Commodore’s killers, everyone who’d heard of my formula will hurt you if you let me go.  _

“I don’t know. Probably.” Half-asleep Morris answered.

Maybe it was the after-effects of the bad night he’d spent but Hermann could have sworn he’d heard a slight snort. An almost inaudible sound but which meant so much. 

_ Yes, I’ve just signed my own death warrant and doomed myself to a convict-like life but I don’t regret it because despite my poor act of the night before I’ve sincerely grown attached, maybe more, to you and I intend to protect you and help you. _

Maybe the blissful past weeks spent with Morris, no, John, were sincere after all. Only last night was an act. Hermann’s heart that had been stomped on last night was beginning to beat strong and passionate again. Finally he’d met someone to willingly help him without any condition. A partner. A friend. Someone Hermann never truly had before. To be fair, he’d given up on making friends, true friends, the day he’d discovered his formula. Yes, it was going to help him to help thousands of people, but owning the secret to bring out gold without even the need to dig would bring -and have brought- him way more enemies than friends. And the few friends would be revealed as interested traitors. Hermann had learnt that too late when he met the Commodore. Of course Hermann hadn’t expected friendship from the Commodore, only his money and his relations, but still. It didn’t hurt having a friend or two in the Wild West. It was rare too.

“Let’s go.” John whispered.

What? He came with him? 

“What? John!” Hermann called. “Running with me will increase your chances to get killed and likely tortured by the Sisters!”

“As you running alone will increase yours to get killed and tortured by  _ anybody _ !” John dryly retorted. He clearly hadn’t slept better than Hermann.

The chemist uttered a tiny gasp.

_ John. You… _

He truly,  _ honestly  _ intended to help and protect him with the sole reward of being hunt down by professional killers?

_ Oh John. _

Hermann couldn’t refrain his faded sniffles and small tears to manifest. His eyes were itching. He rubbed them. Oh, that’s right. He’d cried to sleep the night before. From John’s apparent betrayal. His tears still hadn’t dried.

John stepped nearer. And… softly cupped Hermann’s cheek… It was warm… He slowly wiped away the tears with the smooth caress of his thumb… then… their eyes met. John’s unsure sky-blue eyes into Hermann’s hopeful glittering chestnut eyes.

_ I love you! I love you! I love you!!! _

“John!” Hermann threw himself against the dishevelled scout and dug his fingers on the front of John’s ruffled shirt. He slowly, deeply inhaled and then exhaled. Fighting new tears. Tears quite different from those the smitten scientist had shed the night before.

Despite the fact they were going to be hunted down by the most ruthless hitmen of the country, he felt like a heavy and painful burden had been lifted up from his shoulders. He felt happy. He felt safe.

He felt loved.

Bliss filled his head and heart so much he didn’t notice he was soaking John’s shirt with tears. Joy tears. Neither did he expect his first true friend to firmly close his arms around his aching body.

Morris thought Hermann still resented him for yesterday. For the -intended- betrayal, the apparent indifference, the punch in his soft, beautiful, glowing face… He hugged his golden angel tight. 

“I’m sorry, Hermann. I’m sorry.” He breathed in a husky voice against Hermann’s neck. “I’m sorry.” He softly nuzzled Hermann’s dusty yet smooth hair.

Hermann smelled his John’s fresh scent. Mint. Probably from the tooth powder. John was handsome, good-hearted, tender, clever, sociable and on top of that he smelled like fresh mint! How could any man not fall for such a perfect person? Hermann blissfully wondered.

“I’m sorry for having hurt you. I could never have… given you to the Sisters brothers, Commodore or any other greedy immoral scum!” John admitted with not just a little of emotion in his manly voice. “No matter their wealth! You’re way more… precious than any coin, Hermann!” He hugged his new friend tighter. “Your worth outstands any amount of money!... to me.” He blushed.

John probably thought speaking in such a passionate manner would calm Hermann’s sobbing but it did the exact opposite. 

The besotted chemist’s fists were so clutched tight on the cloth they almost tore up John’s shirt. He chewed his lower lip, trying to stop an upcoming cry of inhuman and burning joy. The refraining of his tears made Hermann’s whole body tremble. No one, _ no one _ had talked to him such a sweet way before! No one, no one ever thought he was more worth than his gold or his double-edged formula. If his body trembled even more, Hermann was sure he was going to explode. Yesterday, he felt so wretched and miserable and now, just a few hours later, he felt like he’d just reached blissful and warm Heaven, even thought he was an atheist. If Heaven felt that way, then, maybe he could understand, just a bit, why there were religious people. One thing was sure to him: John Morris was  _ his  _ lord and savior. His angel. His archangel.

“Hermann… it’s ok.” The archangel whispered in his blessed ear. Then the joyful prospector felt something like… a strong, warm hand… tenderly stroking his trembling back. “I won’t hand you over. I won’t.”

“I-I know.” Hermann managed to stutter through the lump blocking his throat. “I know you won’t.” He breathed in a smile. “Thank you.”

“Hermann…”

“Thank you... John...” Hermann slightly stepped back and gazed again at the handsome face of his -maybe more than- friend.

Morris noticed only now a bruise, left after his punch from the night before, on Hermann’s cheek. How could he have hit such a pretty, such a beautiful face? He caressed it. He expected Hermann to flinch, but instead the latter quickly glanced at John’s hand before longingly staring into his eyes.

_ Wonderful, shiny, glimmering, blazing, warm chestnut eyes. Warm enough to warm up your heart.  _

The enchanted detective looked at Hermann’s soft lips. Half closed his eyes. 

_ Warm… _

Slowly got closer. No objection. 

_ Warm… _

Soon their lips touched. Both fully closed their eyes. Enjoying the fluttering warmth irradiating their hearts, their whole bodies. Slowly, joyfully tasting each other’s mouth. 

Hermann’s lips, in addition of looking pretty, felt smooth. So delightfully smooth. John could kiss them forever. The owner of these heavenly lips uttered a faint moan. He liked it. To John’s pure happiness. He was so happy he couldn’t help cupping again his lover’s cheek, so smooth too.

_ I love you, Hermann. I love you! My warm and golden angel. _

John’s lips itched a bit due to the beard and felt a bit timid but soft nonetheless. And sincere. And full of love. He loved him. Yes. Hermann loved that man with all of his being, all of his heart. Just the prospect of living his next days with him and, dared he hope, the rest of his life with John Morris was enough to fill Hermann with bliss and contentment. Even if his projects for Dallas failed, that wouldn’t matter. John would be with him. John by his side, he felt capable to achieve anything, even the impossible! Yes. Hermann had met the partner, the love of his life. 


	5. Chapter 5

“I’m sorry, John! I’m sorry for all the horrible things I said to you.” Hermann sobbed against his husband’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t have run like that! I’m sorry!”

“Oh thank God, Hermann. You’re safe.” John huffed out in relief. “What kind of dreadful nightmare scared you so much?” John asked before kissing his weeping angel’s hair.

“Well actually he-” Charlie started but quickly changed his mind. “Oh, but maybe Mister Shivering Fawn here should explain it to you.” He maliciously grinned.

Morris’ eyes threw fiery, blazing bolts at him.

“The hell did you do to him, you bast-!” 

“John! Charlie did  _ nothing  _ to me!” Hermann held him back.

“Except finding little Tom Thumb here.” Charlie vaguely protested.

“And you have my gratefulness for that, Charlie, but don’t you dare thinking that gives you the right to talk ill of Hermann!” John warned him.

“Look at that, Eli! I save the ass of his big-eyed husband and what do I get? Damn threats! Next time you need my help, by all means, don’t call me! You haughty twat!”

“Charlie, not now!” Eli ordered his brother.

“Then when? Huh? When we dig up enough gold so he’ll get rid of us and live his perfect little domestic life on his fluffy candy floss cloud in Dallas as if we never saved his weak ass from Mayfield’s raccoons, as if we never lived together, as if we never met??” Charlie yelled.

He panted. Tried to catch his breath.

“Charlie…” Eli sighed.

“What?? He still thinks we only stay for the fucking gold! That we’re gonna… stab ‘em in their sleep or shit like that! Listen well, you fragile urban snowflake!” He pointed an accusing finger towards Morris. “It’s not because we kill for a living, live outside, eat canned food, have ugly mugs or just ain’t enough sophisticated for your taste we don’t-” Charlie’s mouth twisted. “...have feelings just like you, you fucking bastard!” He spat out.

Everyone, especially himself, were surprised and shocked at such an unexpected and intimate revelation.

“Charlie…” Hermann realized. “A-are you-?”

“No one told you to speak to me, you-!” The younger Sisters almost cursed but refrained his anger at the look of Warm’s soft and sad -apologetic?- and still under the shock of his recent nightmare face.

“Don’t you touch him, you drunkard!” Morris raised a fist up.

“No!”

Morris almost punched Charlie in the face but instead hit Eli who’d stepped between the two of them.

“Eli!” Hermann cried. “John!” He scolded.

“That bastard was going to hit you!” Morris justified himself to his upset husband.

“No, he wasn’t!” Hermann protested. “And that’s Eli you’ve just punched!”

The eldest Sisters got up, rubbing his stinging cheek.

“I’m alright.” He assured Hermann. “Still, he has a solid punch for a urban snowflake.” He told his appalled brother.

“See what I meant?” Charlie proved his point. “You and I just are... forced by circumstances comrades to that bastard.” He hatefully glowered at Morris. “You’ll be the happiest jerk once we’re gone, won’t you?”

Morris stared down the floor. Didn’t answer.

Charlie scoffed and smiled.

“Thought so.”

“Charlie, you’re tired. We’re all tired tonight, ok?” Eli tried to reason him. “Morris didn’t mean to be that… nervous. As you don’t mean all what you’ve just blurted out.”

Charlie pitifully stared at his feet.

“Right?” Eli insisted, in a worried voice.

His chagrined brother remained silent.

“John, you shouldn't have raised your fist.” Hermann deplored his husband’s behavior. “I deeply thank you for wanting to protect me but… Charlie brought me back. And he did no wrong to me. He…” The watering-eyed chemist sighed. “He reminded me how you truly care about me while I was starting to doubt it because of a… senseless dream.” He took Morris’ hands. “We’re… both to blame here. Not him.” He stared into his lover’s eyes; almost implored him.

“Oh Hermann…” The fresh countryman tried to wipe away the last undry tears from the face of his beloved. “Whether you believe or not I love you matters little. As long as you’re safe and happy.” He kissed Hermann’s hands.

“I’m not happy when I believe you don’t love me.” Hermann retorted in a creaking voice and an awkward smile.

“And that’s a euphemism.” Charlie added.

Morris and Eli gave him a dumbfounded look.

“What? You’re not the only to know pointlessly longass words, city jerk.” He mocked Morris.

“What I mean, John, is… you should give a second chance to them. To Charlie.”

“Hermann…” John shook his head.

“John, you’re always picking on him! While he proved many times he’s given up his mission to kill me! That he’s helpful! Like tonight!” Hermann argued. “Please, John. I know you’re a good man. Show me I’m not wrong. Don’t become… wicked because of me.”

“Because of  _ you _ ?” Morris repeated in shock. “Hermann, you could turn a bloodthirsty werewolf into an innocent lamb!” 

The amorous chemist blushed, surprised at such a weird but cute comparison.

“Then… c-can you… show me the lamb inside of you… and apologize to our friends? Please?” He stammered, still embarrassed by his lover’s sense of poetry.

“Friends?” Eli couldn’t help asking.

He and his brother never had friends before. Let alone amongst the people they used to hunt down. 

“Of course you’re my friends.” Warm sincerely smiled. “ _ Our _ friends. How do you call people who help each other?”

Wow. That was new. A new feeling. Eli felt grateful for having met such a good-hearted person but also shameful that same person offered friendship instead of hate to the guys who were initially sent to kill and steal him. He started to guess what Morris found so attractive in him. 

“Well, you heard your little angel, Morris?” Charlie snarked.

Morris glowered at him. Then walked towards him. Hermann feared his lover was about to hit Charlie again. 

“Eli,” John first spoke to the elder Sisters, “I’m sorry for hitting you. Charlie…” He offered his hand to the prince of racoons. “Sorry for threatening and cursing at you. And thank you, a million times, for saving Hermann.”

“Meh.” Charlie crossed his arms, looking unconvinced.

Eli rolled his eyes. His little brother really liked to complicate things. Well, if he really dreamt to be Oregon City’s new Commodore, he should at least excel at that.

Morris impatiently sighed. As if he was to actually punch Charlie this time. Instead he made the boldest and most surprising move ever. He stepped closer and hugged Charlie Sisters the tightest he could.

“Wh-what the  _ fuck _ , Morris??” Charlie yelped. 

“Thank you. Thank you for being a good friend, Charlie.” John almost whispered in his ear.

The young Sisters felt strange. His heart skipped a beat. Like when he shoot a man dead. But a bit differently. Also his face felt hot. Burning hot. And his eyes were… watering? He felt… happy? Was that fucker mocking him? No, he sounded sincere. Shit. Charlie wanted to hug him back. But… it was weird to hug a guy, right? Especially when it was weird enough doing it to his own brother. His arms tensed. His fingers twitched. Eventually, he tried an awkward and nervous hug around Morris’ shoulders. 

“Finally…” Eli sighed.

Hermann warmly smiled at them. Maybe the nightmares will stop for tonight. For John turning violent, even to protect him, was part of the sensitive chemist’s nightmares.

John and Charlie stopped their tense hug.

Then, Charlie punched Morris.

“Ow!”

“Charlie!” Eli scolded.

“John!” Hermann ran to his lover, scared to death it was Charlie’s turn to be violent.

“What was that for, you stupid-!” Morris flamed up.

“Just so we’re equal, man.” Charlie explained while laughing. “My big brother taught me that.” He glanced at Eli.

“I don’t think Morris gave you his consent to punch him.” He told his hot-tempered brother.

“Bah, same difference!” Charlie retorted.

“What the hell is your problem you-!!” Morris gripped his shirt collar.

“NO!” Hermann suddenly shrieked, making the three other men flinch. “No more violence! No more! Please!” He implored. “Please, John…” He cowered down and took his head between his shaking hands.

He thought his nightmare was gone and here came another one! More scary and real this time!

“Hermann!” Morris ran to him, crouched down and placed a tender hand on the trembling shoulder. “I’m sorry, darling…” He slowly embraced him. “I’m sorry…” He whispered. His darling quickly hugged him back.

“Hey, Warm…” Charlie called him.

Both he and Morris looked up.

“That just was a friendly punch alright? It wasn’t my intention to start a fight. As inconceivable as it may sound. Even to me.”

“I should teach you how to properly make friends someday, Charlie.” Eli said.

“Sure you will, bro. So?” Charlie offered his hand to Morris who looked at it with surprise. “Truce?”

Morris smirked.

“Unless you try to attack me again, raccoon.” He welcomely caught the hand and stood up.

“I never try, I  _ do  _ things.”

“Quite true. You didn’t just try to bring back my Hermann.” Morris admitted.

“Well, it was that or we would have to bear up with a freaking out, sobbing spouse all night.”

“I like you, Charlie.” Morris beamed.

“I bet you- huh? Huh??” Charlie’s face steamed and scorched up. Eli chuckled in his back. “What’s so funny, you bastard? I should have punched you in the balls you-!” He cursed at Morris who hugged him again, while giggling.

As Morris and his bashful brother were making peace, Eli walked towards Hermann, who was still a bit prostrated. 

“Are you alright, Warm?” He offered his hand.

“I am now, Eli. Thank you.” Hermann accepted it gladly and stood up.

“What made you scream and run like that?”

“It’s… oh. It just was a stupid dream.” Hermann hesitated to answer. “Probably from my unhealthy lack of trust in my fellow human beings.”

“ _ You _ ? Lack of trust in human beings?” Eli teased. “What about your ideal society? Your… phalanstery?”

“I want to help humanity to evolve. To grow. Means _ I  _ have to grow too. Grow out of my own fears and doubts. As you see, there is still a lot of work on my side.” Hermann forced a laughing smile.

Eli couldn’t help thinking he was the cutest man ever.

“You’re already more evolved than most human beings, Warm.”

“Am I?” Hermann chuckled.

“More evolved, grown, compassionate and decent than most people, Hermann.” Morris added, taking his lover’s hand and kissing it.

“A decent man doesn’t run away in the night or accuse his beloved with imaginary crimes.” Hermann lamented. “He protects what’s important to him with his life, he still unconditionally loves and looks for his beloved who started to doubt his pure feelings…” He gazed at John with gleaming eyes. “Like you, John.” He breathed in a creaking voice.

Morris cupped his wet cheek and tenderly kissed him.

“So? Problem solved? Can we go back to sleep now?” Charlie complained.   



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Morris has a strange and horrifying nightmare.

“Are you going to watch?” Hermann asked in a tiny, creaking, scared voice that sliced Morris’ heart in half.

Morris, busy scribbling on his book, got trouble to breathe.

No. He could  _ never  _ watch such a pure embodiment of adorableness and kindness he already loved from the bottom of his heart being tortured and killed! Let alone  _ because  _ of him!

His breath grew more erratic.

As if he was forcing himself not to cry. Not to sob.

“Are you gonna write it down in your book of adventures?”

_ No!  _

_ No!!  _

_ I love you, Warm! I will  _ never  _ do such a thing! _

Yet, why was John feeling he’d already done that? Watching and registering Hermann’s long agony and painful death. Even he’d met his golden angel just a few days ago. It felt like a deep intuition. Like it happened in a dream or in another life. As if reincarnation had somehow happened to him. And to Hermann.

“Warm… I…” John apologetically mumbled.

_ I love you! _

_ I love you!! _

_ If you only knew how much I love you!  _

_ How much I want to kiss you and hug you and comfort you! _

“This world… is an abomination.” Hermann asserted as an irrevocable sentence.

That’s it. Now he’ll never be happy, never trust anyone again because of him!

John hurried to his angel.

“No! That’s not true! Hermann, I…” He rose his hand to reach and untie his beloved.

But suddenly, instead of Hermann, the chair, the hotel room, Jacksonville, opened a giant black void.

_ What? Where am I? _

A gunshot made him flinch and turn back.

“Lou… help…” A painfully familiar voice implored him.

_ Hermann? My love, where are you? _

John turned again and found himself with a device in his hands. Registering images? What was he-? 

_ Oh God, no!  _

_ Please, my God, no! _

_ Everything but that!  _

_ No!!  _

John was… registering Hermann, horribly dying from a gunshot. He looked younger and more fragile than the actual Hermann Warm. And begged him with his gleaming, terrified dark eyes.

_ No!! No!!! What am I doing? STOP!! _

“I can’t work with people who slack their work, Rick.” Is what came out of John’s lips.

_ Rick?  _

_ Wait. No!!  _

_ Don’t film him!  _

_ Don’t… make profits out of his pain and death!  _

_ But isn’t it what I’ve always done? _

_ What? No!!  _

_ I have to help him!! _

_ He needs me! _

_ He needs me to help him live!  _

_ Why am I wishing for his death?? _

_ He loves me!  _

_ He’s begging me! _

_ I have to save him!!  _

_ SAVE HIM!! _

Against his own will -or was it?-, Lou-John walked away. After all, interns proliferated and that juicy footage would bring him quite the amount of money. And no one would hold him accountable anyway. Once broadcast, the footage would be the property and responsibility of the TV channel! And to keep their public image clean, they’ll never dare to give the name of their supplier.

What?? Was John  _ really  _ thinking all that? 

No! 

He had to go back! 

Help Hermann or Rick! Whatever! 

_ He’s going to die!  _

_ He needs my help!  _

_ Don’t abandon him!! _

_ Don’t leave him alone!! _

_ SAVE HIM!!!  _

**Author's Note:**

> I like comments. :3


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